Respect In Sport

NON Law Enforcement discussion. Post your thoughts and feelings about anything you want, just leave work out of it. Nobody likes a workaholic. Get a life ;-)
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basketcase
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Respect In Sport

Postby basketcase » Thu Mar 27, 2014 10:08 pm

I don't know what the deal is with hockey. I love the sport. Played it competitively and now I officiate competitive levels of hockey. I can honestly draw a connection between the lack of respect in sport and the lack of respect in society.

Tonight, for example. AAA Peeweee playoff game. Game one of the final. One team plays with discipline. The other team plays without discipline. One team is bigger than the other team size-wise as well. So what happens? You guessed it. The smaller team plays without discipline and takes a bunch of stupid penalties. Most of the coaching staff let it go. It's just a game. The head coach was upset for a little while during the game but got over it and shut his mouth when I told him to. Game over. Not a blow-out, but a shutout.

So as I'm leaving the rink, one of the coaching staff asks me if I ever look at the game sheets after the game. Nope. I leave what happened on the ice, out there. That's how I was taught growing up and that's the way it's supposed to be. He tells me they played most of the third period short handed. I tell him again, that's nice the game is over. He asks if I think that's a little bit excessive. I say I don't know. It's not up to me to decide on the discipline problem after the game. He didn't like that.

Fast forward to walking to the car. Here's where the true lack of respect comes in and parents who should be ashamed of themselves should realize that the game would be a ton better without parents in the rink. They ruin absolutely everything for the kid.....not just on the ice, but in life. Hands down.

I'm walking to my car. Little guy is loading up his hockey equipment with dad's help. Dad sees me walking by and belts out "I hope you have better refs next time because that guy fucken sucked." I keep on walking by, thinking to myself.

THIS is what's wrong with society. Until people smarten the fuck up, society is doomed. I'm not an overly religious person but I did go to church the odd time. I'm not going to end up born-again because I don't care to and I'm indifferent about religion. But I remember some of the basic lessons that were taken from that and carried through to society and sports.

Treat people with respect. It goes a lot further than disrespect. Teach your kids to leave stuff on the ice.
The game of hockey is just a game. It's supposed to keep people in shape and teach people about teamwork and creativity. All parents seem to do now is thinking about how great their kid is and how they can do nothing wrong.
The rules of a game are subject to interpretation. It's easy to call a game from the stands. Let's be honest.....you have a birds eye view of everything. The guy on the ice calling the game might miss calls. It happens. The guy on the ice might call something you didn't see. Get over it.
Most importantly, don't argue interpretations. One of the other members of that coaching staff is a fellow referee. He won't say shit if you were shitting in his mouth. So what does this guy who confronted me do? Tries to draw my colleague in and ask him if he thinks the penalties were excessive. REAL SOLID DUDE! If I had a guy like that on my staff I'd walk.

That's my rant. Feel free to add your spins on it.
Last edited by basketcase on Fri Mar 28, 2014 9:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Respect In Sport

Postby scott90 » Thu Mar 27, 2014 11:34 pm

Yupp, I totally get what you're saying. All throughout my childhood I've played competitive sports: hockey, soccer, football... And I've been a soccer referee for the past thirteen years. It's amazing how disrespectful people can be. From my experience the spectators, parents, and coaches are the worst offenders, especially at the younger ages. These people are supposed to be the role models for the young players, and of course when they see their prospective role models acting like shitheads, well wouldn't you know they become shitheads later on in life as well. Competitive sport is supposed to teach youth discipline, commitment, and interpersonal skills. It's such a shame that the coaches and parents seem to thing its all about them and ruin the experience.

Anyways, I'm finished....Thank's basketcase for letting me piggyback on your rant...

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Re: Respect In Sport

Postby Columbo » Fri Mar 28, 2014 12:30 am

So, if we were all just lazier and eschewed sport, society would be better?
"One more thing..."

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Re: Respect In Sport

Postby basketcase » Fri Mar 28, 2014 6:43 am

Columbo wrote:So, if we were all just lazier and eschewed sport, society would be better?


I'm not sure where you got any of that from either of these posts. The point of my post, at least, was to bitch about role models not teaching good lessons and respect for one another. I really don't see how you can tie any of that into being lazy and avoiding sport. My comment about parents being the worst thing for hockey is because they don't know how to teach respect and don't care to.

It's akin to the "watch out for the police officer. He's going to put you in jail if you're bad." Comments.
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Re: Respect In Sport

Postby meathead1 » Fri Mar 28, 2014 9:46 am

I taught my 4 year old that justin beiber is a douchebag. Society, you are welcome.
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Re: Respect In Sport

Postby ryan.p » Fri Mar 28, 2014 10:11 am

The big issue I see with society as a whole, is the mentality that it's "always someone else's fault." Nobody wants to take responsibility for their actions.

You child doing poorly in school? Bad teacher.

Get a speeding ticket on the way to work? Stupid cop.

Get fired for showing up late to work every day? Horrible boss.
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Re: Respect In Sport

Postby GoodWitness » Fri Mar 28, 2014 11:09 am

It doesn't seem to matter what the sport is, many parents are just so invested in their kids' lives that they can't keep the right perspective on what is supposed to be a fun activity. Minor (insert sport here, hockey, soccer, tennis, etc.) isn't always going to be a stepping stone to the big leagues, 99% of kids won't make a career out of the sport.

Parents seem to go over the top with everything these days. Hockey is now a year-round thing, even for 9 year olds. Same for soccer - summer season, indoor in the fall and winter, skills development programs, etc.

I'm surprised anyone wants to officiate any sport, dealing with these people. My son quit reffing soccer after about half a dozen games after a coach verbally abused him from the sidelines for the better part of a game and was toe to toe with him after it ended until another parent (a huge hulking guy, bless his heart) came over and told the coach in no uncertain terms that he would be dealing with him if he didn't back off the ref. (The 5'4" 95 lb. 14-1/2 year old ref, I should add.)

He was eventually suspended for3 games at our club about 6 months later at a discipline meeting - his response: I don't care, I'm coaching a rep team in Mississauga now anyway.

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Re: Respect In Sport

Postby To a T » Fri Mar 28, 2014 1:21 pm

:ponder:
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Re: Respect In Sport

Postby scott90 » Fri Mar 28, 2014 2:08 pm

meathead1 wrote:I taught my 4 year old that justin beiber is a douchebag. Society, you are welcome.


There should be more of this

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Re: Respect In Sport

Postby Mr. Islander » Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:05 pm

.
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Re: Respect In Sport

Postby Shawshank » Sat Mar 29, 2014 12:00 pm

GoodWitness wrote:
I'm surprised anyone wants to officiate any sport, dealing with these people. My son quit reffing soccer after about half a dozen games after a coach verbally abused him from the sidelines for the better part of a game and was toe to toe with him after it ended until another parent (a huge hulking guy, bless his heart) came over and told the coach in no uncertain terms that he would be dealing with him if he didn't back off the ref. (The 5'4" 95 lb. 14-1/2 year old ref, I should add.)

He was eventually suspended for3 games at our club about 6 months later at a discipline meeting - his response: I don't care, I'm coaching a rep team in Mississauga now anyway.


He seems like a real badass.

This is what I have learned from sports
- sometimes the calls go your way, sometimes they don't
- sometimes you can do really well, and be let down my your team
- sometimes your team can carry you
- losing sucks, try harder.
- don't hold back just isn't good enough.
- sometimes your best
- how to win with grace
- shit happens

I used to play baseball, wrestle, grapple and now I am a competitive strongman. In 20 years of sports, I have talked back to an official once, and even then it was more of "what the hell were you looking at?" and then it was over for me. There sure as hell wasn't any waiting in the parking lot. My dad would have put me in my place if I did that, and if my mom found out, I would not have been playing for the rest of the season. As well, the officials I deal with now are volunteers to help the sport grow. Even when officials are payed, I would bet they do it for the love of the game, to give back to the game.
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Re: Respect In Sport

Postby basketcase » Sat Mar 29, 2014 12:16 pm

Most of the officials are doing it for the chance to give back to the sport. A lot of the younger officials do it to give back and make a little bit of money. I chuckled last night when I was talking with a coach and said I'm thankful it's the end of the season. He says "Well you won't be getting paid anymore. How's that a good thing?" Ummmm.....yeah the 100 a week I make doing three or four games.....that's just beer money. I have a full time job that pays my bills. He gave me a weird look and then says "Oh ya I guess that makes sense."

A lot of people don't realize we're not in it for money.
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Re: Respect In Sport

Postby Sly » Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:48 pm

Sounds like another frustrating night at the rink for another official. I share your skates basket. I got ripped on in the media by a coach a few weeks ago for calling a penalty with 30 seconds left in a tie game. Clearly, it was my fault that their captain CHARGED THE GOALTENDER in his crease. That penalty lead to a winning power play goal in OT. No one blamed the captain for skating through the crease and body checking the goalie, just the ref who made the call.

I ref hockey for the fun, its a hobby, its great exercise, its a challenge, but most of all the people I ref make for great company. It has never been about the money. Some nights, I sit in the passenger seat and drive three hours each way to go work a game. Weather permitting, I will be gone from home for almost 10 hours. I also probably booked the day off work or left early and I will make a grand total of $110 with my meal expenses. I also do it because I get the best seat in the house to watch people beat the crap out of each other :).

I don't expect everything to be sunshine and roses when I ref, but it is very frustrating when coaches or parents take things that occurred on the ice and bring it into the lobby or the parking lot or next weeks game. Coaches that cant control their players benches, and take multiple penalties because of it should be the ones standing up in the lobby and taking the blame; instead, they take it on the black and white stripes, its the easy way out.

In a lot of ways, reffing is no different then police work. Go out, enforce rules or procedures that 90% of people have no knowledge of, enforce the consequence(s), and get shit on for doing it. The brotherhood and teamwork is what makes reffing fun, just like having a good squad. Only difference is that one is reality that has life and death, the other has gold medals and shattered dreams.

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Re: Respect In Sport

Postby basketcase » Sun Mar 30, 2014 9:32 pm

Have to love a 5 minute major charging the goalie in the crease in a tie game!

I was on the lines for a Midget A/E game on Saturday where a penalty shot was called for the goalie dislodging the goal after being warned about it 15-20 times. Tied at 2-2 with 12.8 second left in the third period of a game that would have seen the offending team lose the championship if there was a goal! :) Glad I was on the lines lol.
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Re: Respect In Sport

Postby Shawshank » Mon Mar 31, 2014 4:35 am

Sly wrote:Sounds like another frustrating night at the rink for another official. I share your skates basket. I got ripped on in the media by a coach a few weeks ago for calling a penalty with 30 seconds left in a tie game. Clearly, it was my fault that their captain CHARGED THE GOALTENDER in his crease. That penalty lead to a winning power play goal in OT. No one blamed the captain for skating through the crease and body checking the goalie, just the ref who made the call.


I think this speaks to exactly what basket case was getting at. I would put money on the fact that this guy thinks he shouldn't be stopped for speeding at 8am because then he will be late for work and somehow it would be your fault.
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