Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

General Law Enforcement discussion which does not fit into other channels. Post your thoughts and feelings about anything you want (LE related), or just vent those fumes about whatever is on your chest.
flamz
Rookie Member
Posts: 0
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:10 pm
Contact:

Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

Postby flamz » Fri Dec 14, 2012 7:30 pm

I know this has been covered to an extent, but I had a question more specifically to those who have S.O's that work shift work as well.

I have a girlfriend who is a nurse and of course she works tons of evenings and nights, as for me at the moment, I'm on 8-5 mon to friday. Hopefully down the road, I'm hoping to get hired on with a police service which would have us both working shift work, and hopefully have our relationship progress and have children.

Im almost perplexed how it could ever be accomplished? In a perfect world, you'd have both the grandparents available take care of them on a night shift, daycares/schools during the day if your shifts overlapped. So I'm just wondering how yourself or anyone else you've known have managed.

User avatar
SourSkittles
Rookie Member
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2012 3:37 am
Location: 3 steps forward 4 steps back
Contact:

Re: Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

Postby SourSkittles » Fri Dec 14, 2012 7:35 pm

flamz wrote:I know this has been covered to an extent, but I had a question more specifically to those who have S.O's that work shift work as well.

I have a girlfriend who is a nurse and of course she works tons of evenings and nights, as for me at the moment, I'm on 8-5 mon to friday. Hopefully down the road, I'm hoping to get hired on with a police service which would have us both working shift work, and hopefully have our relationship progress and have children.

Im almost perplexed how it could ever be accomplished? In a perfect world, you'd have both the grandparents available take care of them on a night shift, daycares/schools during the day if your shifts overlapped. So I'm just wondering how yourself or anyone else you've known have managed.


I can speak personally as I remembered growing up with both parents working shifts (then getting divorced) Basically get a good babysitter/nanny and try to raise them ASAP so they can stay at home alone sooner. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it works, and its cheap.
Aim low and you will succeed.

meathead1
Poobah Overlord
Posts: 4577
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:02 pm
Location: Ont
Contact:

Re: Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

Postby meathead1 » Fri Dec 14, 2012 7:38 pm

My wife and I both work shiftwork. She is also a nurse. She is lucky enough to self schedule so basically when I'm not working, she is. We also have a 3 year old child who is in daycare a few days a week. Every 6 or 8 weeks, my mother in law comes down for the weekend because we both get stuck working fri-sat-sun and we have no daycare on weekend It sucks but you do what you have to. We both know it's not for ever, and after the next one is born, she is going back to work part time where she will work less but take home pretty much the same. Best of both worlds.

Bottom line is you have to make sacrifices to make it work. My brother and his wife (both cops) are taking a transfer where they will both be shift workers at the same detachment and have to make that work with no family around to help out.
When things get bad, I take comfort in knowing they could always be worse.
When things get worse, I take comfort in knowing they can only get better.

flamz
Rookie Member
Posts: 0
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:10 pm
Contact:

Re: Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

Postby flamz » Fri Dec 14, 2012 7:51 pm

awesome, great responses guys.

This factor was probably the most, concerning I guess you could say. My mother has been a nurse for the last 10 years, so I've gotten used to christmas and birthdays being days, if not a couple weeks away from the original date. As for time with my girlfriend, we make a date specifically to do something together if she has been working quite a few evenings in a row. It was child care that seemed to be the trickiest/most difficult issue to solve without having to live it.

I'm lucky in having some options for now, my parents/brother, her parents/brother, and sometimes grandparents, but it is nice to see what happens in actuality for plan B, C or D

GoodWitness
Rookie Member
Posts: 34
Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2009 1:25 am
Contact:

Re: Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

Postby GoodWitness » Sat Dec 15, 2012 2:07 am

My sister was in that situation for many years with a husband also working shifts, she worked 12's, he worked 8's in different hospitals. They were EXTREMELY fortunate that grandma was willing and able to do overnight visits many days in a row, being local and having nothing better to do. Probably was kinda hard on grandpa, though! He stayed home alone for those days, if I recall. (this is about 20-odd years ago.)

It would be tough for many people to manage, especially without family close by.

User avatar
cardz25
Rookie Member
Posts: 0
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2012 7:02 am
Contact:

Re: Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

Postby cardz25 » Sat Dec 15, 2012 8:18 am

SourSkittles wrote:I can speak personally as I remembered growing up with both parents working shifts (then getting divorced) Basically get a good babysitter/nanny and try to raise them ASAP so they can stay at home alone sooner. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it works, and its cheap.

Is there some sort of scientific advancement where you can speed up time? No offense ... but it's obvious you don't have children because that's probably the worst advice. Although I'm not in LE, my wife and I have three children (3 1/2 yrs old or younger) and we couldn't imagine trying to rush them through childhood. Since our closest relative is 2 hrs away we don't have the luxury of grandparents taking them for the day, or any period of time for that matter. My wife and I made sacrifices to ensure WE are the ones raising them and having the most influence in their lives. Just remember: they are only young once, so enjoy it.
"Excuses, no matter how strong, never lead to achievement."
John C. Maxwell

meathead1
Poobah Overlord
Posts: 4577
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:02 pm
Location: Ont
Contact:

Re: Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

Postby meathead1 » Sat Dec 15, 2012 6:33 pm

cardz25 wrote: Just remember: they are only young once, so enjoy it.


This i why I don't do paid duties, or volunteer for overtime. I would MUCH rather spend my time with my 3 year old.
When things get bad, I take comfort in knowing they could always be worse.
When things get worse, I take comfort in knowing they can only get better.

User avatar
Columbo
Seasoned Member
Posts: 386
Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 9:38 pm
Location: Barney's Beanery
Contact:

Re: Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

Postby Columbo » Sun Dec 16, 2012 3:32 am

.
Last edited by Columbo on Sun May 26, 2013 9:52 pm, edited 3 times in total.
"One more thing..."

User avatar
Columbo
Seasoned Member
Posts: 386
Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 9:38 pm
Location: Barney's Beanery
Contact:

Re: Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

Postby Columbo » Sun Dec 16, 2012 3:35 am

.
Last edited by Columbo on Sun May 26, 2013 9:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"One more thing..."

flamz
Rookie Member
Posts: 0
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:10 pm
Contact:

Re: Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

Postby flamz » Sun Dec 16, 2012 10:09 pm

meathead1 wrote:
cardz25 wrote: Just remember: they are only young once, so enjoy it.


This i why I don't do paid duties, or volunteer for overtime. I would MUCH rather spend my time with my 3 year old.


Absolutely. Im fairly young(23), no kids as was said before, and what I say could never be on the same level because I haven't lived it yet. Any free time with your own kids would of course be cherished, but I imagine with having both parents working, you'd want to be there as much as you can.

I really appreciate everyone commenting, gave me a great insight the other side of policing. Might be a good idea for ridealongs? Start them off with figuring out what to do with their kids for the night, come in and start a pile of paperwork? When the time comes where they plan to go home early for the night, drag them out another 3 hours.

User avatar
patcormier
Veteran Member
Posts: 254
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 5:41 pm
Location: Greater Montreal Area
Contact:

Re: Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

Postby patcormier » Tue Dec 18, 2012 9:26 am

Columbo wrote:
meathead1 wrote:
cardz25 wrote: Just remember: they are only young once, so enjoy it.


This i why I don't do paid duties, or volunteer for overtime. I would MUCH rather spend my time with my 3 year old.

I take a fair amount of over time, and it definitely cuts into my family time. However, I try to be selective in the shifts I take and use my vac whenever I need a daddy day with my kids.


+1 ... honestly i gotta take extra shifts sometimes because i gotta make ends meet ... personally, paying bills = not losing house = better quality of life + more monies = better life kids in a home with food to eat and stuff like that...
Raising YOUR kids since 2004 ...

User avatar
SourSkittles
Rookie Member
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2012 3:37 am
Location: 3 steps forward 4 steps back
Contact:

Re: Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

Postby SourSkittles » Tue Dec 18, 2012 12:05 pm

cardz25 wrote:
SourSkittles wrote:I can speak personally as I remembered growing up with both parents working shifts (then getting divorced) Basically get a good babysitter/nanny and try to raise them ASAP so they can stay at home alone sooner. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it works, and its cheap.

Is there some sort of scientific advancement where you can speed up time? No offense ... but it's obvious you don't have children because that's probably the worst advice. Although I'm not in LE, my wife and I have three children (3 1/2 yrs old or younger) and we couldn't imagine trying to rush them through childhood. Since our closest relative is 2 hrs away we don't have the luxury of grandparents taking them for the day, or any period of time for that matter. My wife and I made sacrifices to ensure WE are the ones raising them and having the most influence in their lives. Just remember: they are only young once, so enjoy it.



No, its advancement in parenting. Raise your kids right so they're not little shitheads and you can trust them on their own when they're young, so you can leave them home alone without having to fear about the house being burnt down amongst other things. No offense, but you have the IQ of a ritz cracker.
Aim low and you will succeed.

User avatar
DrBenway
Rookie Member
Posts: 0
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2012 12:18 pm
Location: The Left Coast
Contact:

Re: Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

Postby DrBenway » Tue Dec 18, 2012 1:59 pm

:stupid: That's the way I do it. I went out of my way to raise an extremely responsible teenager so that he can stay home and watch the younger one's if the wife and I are both at work. Only thing I don't trust him with is cooking, not because he can't do it safely, just because he's bad at it.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.

"Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser."
Vince Lombardi

meathead1
Poobah Overlord
Posts: 4577
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:02 pm
Location: Ont
Contact:

Re: Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

Postby meathead1 » Tue Dec 18, 2012 2:50 pm

patcormier wrote:
+1 ... honestly i gotta take extra shifts sometimes because i gotta make ends meet ... personally, paying bills = not losing house = better quality of life + more monies = better life kids in a home with food to eat and stuff like that...


you gotta do what you gotta do, brother. No one knocks you for doing that and being responsible. If I needed the extra dough, I'd be all over OT and paid duties. But my wife and I both make very good coin and I'm fortunate that I don't have to.
When things get bad, I take comfort in knowing they could always be worse.
When things get worse, I take comfort in knowing they can only get better.

User avatar
fjacky
Rookie Member
Posts: 31
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2006 5:56 pm
Location: T.O Area
Contact:

Re: Police family life ( i swear not a repeat!)

Postby fjacky » Tue Dec 18, 2012 4:11 pm

SourSkittles wrote:
cardz25 wrote:
SourSkittles wrote:I can speak personally as I remembered growing up with both parents working shifts (then getting divorced) Basically get a good babysitter/nanny and try to raise them ASAP so they can stay at home alone sooner. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it works, and its cheap.

Is there some sort of scientific advancement where you can speed up time? No offense ... but it's obvious you don't have children because that's probably the worst advice. Although I'm not in LE, my wife and I have three children (3 1/2 yrs old or younger) and we couldn't imagine trying to rush them through childhood. Since our closest relative is 2 hrs away we don't have the luxury of grandparents taking them for the day, or any period of time for that matter. My wife and I made sacrifices to ensure WE are the ones raising them and having the most influence in their lives. Just remember: they are only young once, so enjoy it.



No, its advancement in parenting. Raise your kids right so they're not little shitheads and you can trust them on their own when they're young, so you can leave them home alone without having to fear about the house being burnt down amongst other things. No offense, but you have the IQ of a ritz cracker.


Not sure I agree. Making your kids grow up ASAP so they can stay home alone sooner? I'm gonna enjoy my kids as kids first and foremost, and when they are ready and responsible enough, then they can be alone. I'm not rushing anything. It's already going too fast. I guess I'm just not an 'advanced parent'.... whatever that is.
!!!2008!!!


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot], SemrushBot and 2 guests